Second Marriage

Eleonora Tyutcheva Watercolor by J. Scheler. c. 1827

For two years following the marriage, according to Heinrich Heine, many in Munich did not know about the wedding (the legal marriage took place 27 January 1829).^[1] The marriage was happy, years later, Fydor would say:^[2]

"Never would a person have become so loved by another person as I am loved by her, for eleven years there was not a single day in her life when, in order to strengthen my happiness, she would not agree, without a moment's hesitation, to die for me."

In 1830, Eleonora and her family spent half a year in Russia where she was warmly received by the whole Tyutchev family. Dorothea de Ficquelmont describes the couple during this time:^[3]

"I forgot to mention the meeting with one beautiful woman – Madame Tyutcheva ... She is still young, but so pale, fragile, with such a sad look that she can be mistaken for a beautiful vision. She is clever, and seems to me with a certain pretension to wit, which does not fit well with her ethereal air; her husband is a small man with glasses, very ugly, but he speaks well."

Eleonora's letters to her relatives depict her as a loving, sensitive woman who idolised her husband, it appears that she was unfamiliar with the business and economics of family life which were entirely her responsibility. In Munich, she managed to create a cozy and hospitable home. Though, due to Tyutchev's modest salary and small financial assistance of his parents, she could barely make ends meet.^[4] Despite this, the first seven years of their married life were happy.

In February 1833, at the ball, Fydor Tyutchev first met with Baroness Ernestina Dernberg, who would later become his second wife. She was described as one of the most beautiful women in Munich. In her company, Fydor found intelligence, brilliant education, and a deep spiritual closeness in addition to her beauty. She completely overshadowed the sweet and charming, but admittedly uneducated Eleanora.

Realising her husband's straying eye, Eleanora did everything she could to save her family, but it was to no avail. She grew depressed and in May 1836, she attempted to commit suicide by stabbing herself several times with a dagger. She did not succeed, owing to the fact that the dagger she used, was from a fancy dress costume. Seeing the blood, she ran out into the street in a panic, and fell unconscious. Neighbours brought her home and were soon joined by Fydor. She would physically recover but would struggle with her mental health. Tyutchev appeared to swear to his wife that he would break off relations with his mistress and the couple agreed to leave Munich. The family left for Russia in May 1837 for a four-month holiday.^[1]

Shortly after their arrival in Saint Petersburg, Fydor was appointed an official of the Russian diplomatic mission in Turin, capital of the Kingdom of Sardinia. Once Fydor left for Sardinia, he resumed his affair with Baroness Ernesta.

On 14 May 1838 Eleanora and her three daughters sailed to Turin, intending to board a steamboat to Lübeck from there to Turin by carriage. On the night of 18 May, a fire broke out on the ship near Lübeck, all attempts to extinguish the flames failed. The captain drove the ship aground and passengers attempted to cross to the rocky shore, not without loss. Five people died, and the ship burned to ruin. Eleanora was calm and showed self-control and presence of mind.

Tyutchev described the behaviour of his wife during this time:^[2]

"It can be said in all fairness that the children twice owed their lives to their mother, who, at the cost of her last remaining strength, was able to carry them through the flames and wrest them from death."

Eleanor did not receive any physical injuries during the shipwreck, but would go into shock, requiring treatment and rest. However, she refused to stay in Germany for more than two weeks, fearing for her husband, and left for Turin.^[4] Upon arrival, the family found themselves in a strict financial situation, due to money and official documents lost in the shipwreck. They settled in the suburbs and despite material assistance provided by the treasury, they found it very difficult to persevere. Eleanora went to auction to help improve their finances by purchasing cheap furniture. Tyutchev was a poor helper in this aspect, his wife herself noticing his "irritable and melancholy mood". She deliberately kept the details and anxieties of the family's finances from him to try and improve his mood.

Before long, stress from overworking, a severe cold, and a deep nervous shock which she was never able to recover from, contributed to worsening her already fragile health. On 27 August 1838, she died in much pain. Fydor grieved deeply, spending nights at the tomb of his wife, and his hair turned grey.