A man wears a shirt reading "Sissy Daddy" in the 2017 Chicago Pride Parade

A Daddy in gay culture is a slang term meaning a man sexually involved in a relationship with a younger male.[1][2][3] An age gap, maturity gap, and varying levels of sexual experience are possible aspects of a "Daddy/boy" relationship.

In an internet meme context, Know Your Meme defines the term as a "slang term of affection used to address a male authority figure or idol in a sexualized manner."[4]

A "Daddy/boy" relationship can share similarities with a dynamic of dominance and submission.[5]

History

New York claimed in 2017 that the specific archetype evolved from leather subculture, which began in the 1940s.[6]

The "leather daddy" archetype, which has sadomasochistic associations, was proliferated in such media as the Drummer magazine (launched in 1975); 1976 to 1979 gay pornographic films Working Man Trilogy; and BDSM novels by Larry Townsend.[7][6]

Predecessors

According to the Historical Dictionary of American Slang, the earliest use of "daddy" in a non-paternal context was in 1681, in reference to what sex workers called their procurers or older male customers.[8][9]

Throughout the 1920s, the term was used in blues music and African-American Vernacular English to mean one's boyfriend, especially an older man or a sugar daddy. In 1920, the term is used in a romantic context in Aileen Stanley's blues song "I Wonder Where My Sweet, Sweet Daddy's Gone."[10] Its usage is similar in Lavinia Turner's 1922 song "How Can I Be Your 'Sweet Mama' When You're 'Daddy' to Someone Else?"[8][11] The same year, the term appears in Trixie Smith's "My Man Rocks Me" in the lyrics "My man rocks me, with one steady roll [...] I said now, Daddy, ain’t we got fun".[12][9]

A shirt reading "I Love Daddy Bears", pictured at the Oslo pride parade, 2015

In gay culture

New York claimed in 2017 that the gay term evolved from leather subculture, which began in the 1940s.[6]

In the 1970s, the "leather daddy" archetype (which has sadomasochistic associations) was proliferated in such media as the Drummer magazine (launched in 1975); 1976 to 1979 gay pornographic films Working Man Trilogy; and BDSM novels by Larry Townsend.[7][6]

Braidon Schaufert has claimed that the term was further normalized through to Game Grumps' 2017 visual novel game, Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator, which centered "queer fathers in a romance game" and gained a significant online fandom.[13]

The term has increasingly been applied to heterosexual relationships.

Gender

In 2000, Andrew Schopp claimed that the Daddy archetype "challenge[s] dominant ideologies of masculinity by appropriating the icons of masculinity and male authority (jocks, leather, motorcycles, uniforms) and transporting them into the realm of gay male sexual experience."[14]

In 2018, Braidon Schaufert claimed that, by creating the 'daddy' term, "Queer communities have separated the specific gender performance of fatherhood from the actual act of raising children".[13]

In the context of T4T relationships (specifically, trans men dating trans men), a Daddy/boy dynamic can be part of the gender affirmation process, thereby leading to gender euphoria. In 2022, Transgender Studies Quarterly claimed that a Daddy/boy dynamic between trans people "can be read as gender labor; affective and intersubjective work that produces gender".[15][16]

See also

  • Sugar dating, a transactional relationship, which may involve use of the term "sugar daddy"

References

  1. Kirkland, Justin (2018-06-15). "Here's an Outrageously Comprehensive Guide to the Term 'Daddy'". Esquire. Retrieved 2023-12-10.
  2. Mahale, Aniruddha (2018-01-07). "The Guysexual's Urban Dictionary for Gay Slang". Firstpost. Archived from the original on 2021-05-16.
  3. Borge, Jonathan (2017-10-23). "Why People Are Calling Hot Guys Daddy". InStyle. Retrieved 2023-12-10.
  4. "Daddy". Know Your Meme. 2016-08-22. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  5. Weinberg, Thomas S. (1995). S and M : Studies in dominance and submission. Prometheus Books. ISBN 0-87975-978-X. OCLC 478487523.
  6. 1 2 3 4 Albo, Mike (2013-06-14). "Rise of the 'Daddies': A New (and Sexy) Gay Niche". The Cut. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  7. 1 2 "Larry Townsend Books List". Ranker. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  8. 1 2 Farhi, Paul (January 4, 2005). "Conception of a Question: Who's Your Daddy?". Washington Post.
  9. 1 2 Karen. "The Deal with Daddy". Acelinguist.com. Retrieved 2024-01-14.
  10. ""I Wonder Where My Sweet Sweet Daddy's Gone" Aileen Stanley (1920) T. A. Hammed & Ray H. Stark". Retrieved 2024-01-14 via YouTube.
  11. "How Can I Be Your "Sweet Mama" When You Are "Daddy" to Somebody Else? - Lavinia Turner". Retrieved 2024-01-14 via YouTube.
  12. "My Man Rocks Me (With One Steady Roll) - Trixie Smith and the Jazz Masters_(Released October 1922)". Retrieved 2024-01-14 via YouTube.
  13. 1 2 Schaufert, Braidon (December 2018). "Daddy's Play: Subversion and Normativity in Dream Daddy's Queer World". Game Studies. 18 (3). ISSN 1604-7982.
  14. Schopp, A. (2000). (De)Constructing Daddy: The absent father, revisionist masculinity and/in queer cultural representations. disClosure: A Journal of Social Theory, 9(3), 15-39.
  15. Cassius Adair; Aren Aizura (February 1, 2022). ""The Transgender Craze Seducing Our [Sons]"; or, All the Trans Guys Are Just Dating Each Other". Transgender Studies Quarterly.
  16. Cameron Awkward-Rich; Hil Malatino (February 1, 2022). "Meanwhile, t4t". Transgender Studies Quarterly.


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